More Quotes

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
-- Billy Connolly
A man commented to his lunch companion: "My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire." "You're lucky," sighed the companion. "My wife dreams that in the daytime."
-- Sam Ewing
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
-- Milton Jones
I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
-- Milton Berle
A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!
-- Jerry Dennis
I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
-- Victoria Wood